Tears...at the drop of a spoon

So, I guess this is another symptom of first trimester. I seem to want to cry for everything! I really have to be careful what I read, what I watch or what I listen, for, a smallest thing seems to threaten tears.
Last night I was watching Ross and Rachael (Friends) break up and I cried. This morning I watch Kate Middleton walk down the aisle and I cry.
I cry at the drop of a spoon!

The First Ultra Sound

My first ultra sound was on 26th April, 2011, exactly the day I completed 7 weeks. I took half a day off and DH (dear husband) was at home too. I was asked to drink lots of water. I did and believe me, if the appointment is even 5 mins late, I would have had some sort of an accident. But thank God, there was no delay.

The technician gave me a paper gown to wear. While she was taking all the measurements of the fetus (which lasted about 30 mins), DH was patiently waiting outside. After that was the fun part! She called him inside and we got to see our baby for the very first time. Calling it awesome would be an understatement. It had a little heart which was beating so fast! Its truly a miracle, the way life forms inside.
We just kept looking at it for a long time while the technician zoomed and explained the organs which have already formed.

I think that's when I truly started believing that we are having a baby!

I asked her if everything is fine. However, in accordance with the rules here, the results would be sent to my doctor who would discuss this with me.

One good news is that, my blood test results are in and they look fine it seems! Bah...what a relief!

The anxiety kicks in...

Today I am supposed to get my blood test result. But I did not. I believe that the clinic is closed because of Easter. Wow...clinics seem to be getting many more holidays than the schools themselves. Shouldn't they be open more often? Anyway...so another day of waiting continues.

I was reading a few birthing stories this morning. Some of them were assisted (c-section and/or with epidural) and some of them are natural. What caught my eye was a process called "Water Birthing". I just make a mental note that I will have to start researching on this one, once I complete 3 months and I truly start to feel pregnant.

I have zero tolerance for pain. However, since the dawn of time women have been doing it. So, something to think about. Meanwhile I am trying not to focus on the blood test result but on the positivity of it.

Last night my sister in law, brother in law and my little nephew came to visit us. They are doing well and the baby is growing so fast! Oh it was a delight to see him! He started crawling sooo fast and given another 2 months, he sure is going to make his mom run behind him at all times of the day!
He showered us with plenty of smiles and lots of giggles. And like any other little baby, needed a lot of attention only when his mom sat down to have her dinner! LOL...:) Can't wait to see him again!

The symptoms

I must say I am thankful that I do not have as many symptoms as some people seem to have. I do feel nauseous but its manageable. I am terribly tired ALL the time though. Last night I slept for 12 hours but when I woke up I was still tired. I am hoping this would go by the time baby is here because it would be quite impossible to manage with this tiredness. I am getting breathless even while taking a flight of stairs. And yes, I do have stomach cramps.

Religiously I am drinking 2 cups of milk a day. Beyond that is beyond me. I am also including lots of fruit and vegetable in my diet. So far I am not craving for anything. Yes...spicy pickles would be nice but that's not good for the baby. So, I should eat them as less as possible. My dear friend kindly offered to bring me some chintakaya (raw tamarind) and Gongura (no idea what to call this in English) pickle in June.

The First Complication

Just when we think that falling pregnant uneventfully is an achievement in itself, little do we realize that its going to be an emotional journey in a roller coaster from there on.

I had my first extensive physical yesterday (20th April). Calling it a nightmare would be an understatement. Hubby was working and hence I took half a day off from work for the appointment. Previously I got a call from my lab that urine sample was not enough and that I need to go there again. Before going to the doctors, I went to give the sample again.

The physical test started like expected with them taking my BP, weight and height. Just last week I was measured and I was fairly confident I didnt grow tall, considering i didn't grow at all after I turned 15! I put on 300 grams from the previous week and I attributed it to the big lunch I had just 30 mins ago. I told the nurse that i have been having heavy milk...that is the thing to blame, as if reassuring myself. 

I changed into a hospital gown and desperately wished that Hubby were with me. Actually, anyone would have been nice instead of me alone with the doc.

After the regular pleasantries, she gave me the shock. She told me that my bood hormone levels, also known as hCG levels are half of what they are supposed to be. What does that mean? It means that the chances of me miscarrying are 70%. I was too shocked to react at that. She also said that maybe there is no baby at all inside me, its just a yolk sack! I was like...what?!
She referred me to a blood again and said that she cant say how my pregnancy is progressing until the first ultra sound which is on 26th. I was devastated.

I knew I had to ask questions but i kind of went numb and didnt ask any.
She did a Pap Smear, Swab test and also checked for breast cancer. I must say...it was fairly painful and extremely uncomfortable. I kept counting down from 10 backwards to 1 willing it to finish fast.

When she did finish, I got another shock. She said I am too small for a normal delivery! What? Then she explained that there is a high likelihood of a c-section. By then I started wondering if the day can get any worst.

After the test when I started the car my hands were shaking. I rushed back to the lab to give blood test but it was closed. By the time I reached home, I was cold, disturbed, sad, defeated and lonely. Hubby called and I had to give him the devastating news.

I called my good friend and we spoke for a while, sighed together, felt bad together, hoped together and then felt maybe everything will be fine after all. Hope...that's very important in life.
After that, I spoke to my sister in law also. But for her, I believe this test was not done at all, until much later.  

After that I started a google search on hCG and the normal levels. Mine is 5583 at 5 weeks. ALL the online sources say that mine is well within the normal range. Why did doctor say that mine is low? Since I gave only one blood test so far, she has no way to know if my hormones are doubled every 2 days, like they are supposed to. How did she conclude mine are low? Below is the chart.

• 5 weeks LMP: 18 - 7,340 mIU/ml
• 6 weeks LMP: 1,080 - 56,500 mIU/ml

Also, most pregnant women seem to be referred to for at least 4 blood tests to track that hormones are doubling. I was only referred to one. Why? Also, when she suspected my hormone levels to be low, why didnt she call me immediately and ask me for another test? I would have gone directly to the lab and gave blood along with the unrine! Why didnt she call?

So many questions and so few answers. I will have to write down all these and ask her next time.

As of now, i am exhausted. I would probably give anything right now for a 30min nap in return.

How we told our Parents

The day we called them was very special because it happens to be a Tamil New Year, 14th April, 2011. We wanted to make sure that both A and I were there when we call our parents, so this delay in relaying the message. First we called our Mother in Law and when I gave the news to her saying she would be grand mom again soon, she was ecstatic. He joy knew no bounds! My Sister in Law, Brother in Law and my Father in law shared their equally joyful wishes for both Anand and I and wished us all the very best.

My mom was delighted too at the prospect of another grand child! My father was equally happy but was asking more practical question about how i am going to manage full time job and this.

Over all, everyone was happy! We have decided we would wait until I finish my first trimester before telling everyone else.
There is an exception though...I told my all time good friend.

When I found out....

It was April 11th, Monday 2011 when I first suspected that we could be having a baby. Over night the symptoms seem to have kicked in. When I went online to check, I should have known a week ago that I was pregnant with the kind of symptoms I was having...sudden cramps, low back pain and such that. I was so exhausted that it felt like I have been awake for days and not hours.

That day I had fish for lunch. I couldn't stand the smell of it and green salad which had onions in it. Anyway, I went and bought a Home Pregnancy Test and tested at work...and Yeayyyy! Its positive! I captured that image in my phone; the test image I mean.

I sent a quick email to A asking him to call me back when he wakes up (he was at home and was doing his night shift). When I was on my way back home, he called me and I broke the news :)
He was still sleepy and didnt really comprehend that time...I think.

I went home and grabbed my health card and met A. He the knew that I was actually being sure about what I said! I went to our doctor, got a blood and urine test given and was also asked to book a date for Ultra Sound.

Following Thursday A and I had another appointment with our doctor where we were asked about 100 questions about our health, about our immediate and extended families health.
I was also weighed that day and I was 62 kgs (136 lb) or 24.9 BMI. I realized I am right on the border of becoming over weight and owed to myself that I would eat and drink healthy through out the term and gain only a healthy weight. As of today, we were told the Expected Date of Delivery (EDD would be 14th Dec).