Yes...No...

I heard several times in the past parents say that they don't say No to their children. If you had asked me if I say No to Megha a few weeks ago, I would have said, "No, I dont say No to her". But the fact we all forget is, we DO say No to our children more often than we really should. Of course when it comes to things that really matter, we dont say No. Like, if they want to go to the park, we take them. If they want to be a doctor, we help them in the fees. But I realized over the past few days, while its certainly good not to say No to them for things that matter, we shouldn't say No to the thing that they don't matter either (as long as they are not asking anything unreasonable).

I come with proof! This evening, Megha and I went to the local library. Its just a block away and the weather was in +, after a LONG time. So, we went there by foot. On our way, we explored the snow, we saw birds (yes, spring is on the way!) and we had a lot of fun at the library.

On our way back, Megha wanted to jump in the small puddles of water on the side walk. 2 weeks ago, I would have simply picked her and told her, we will go home and play. But, now that I am on a mission to see her world through her eyes, I just let her jump in the wa wa (like she calls water)! She was a little hesitant and was observing what I would say in the beginning. When I told her, "its OK darling, you can jump in the wa wa if you want, like the forggie from your book", she really started jumping, laughing and having a great time in general. And then I joined her and her joy knew no bounds! It made her feel that she was not wrong in wanting to jump :) Why did it take me 2 years to realize that its OK to just let her be a child that she really is and not worry about her cloths getting dirty etc? Are all parents making this conscious effort or is it coming naturally to them? I wonder....here she is jumping in wa wa

I had 2 ways of dealing with this. Either pick her up and not let her jump which will mean that her boots, jacket, snow pants need not be washed or just let her jump (and deal with washing later)! And I let her jump...what a difference it makes when we dont let the power struggle creep up? I see it first hand. We both are more at peace with each other than before.
It doesn't mean I dont say no to things that she should not do, like running around while having her dinner. Its just a conscious effort of not saying No just because I can for small things which can be easily accommodated.

We picked up some flowers from Walmart this morning (Megha loves Walmart trips), spring is in the air! These tulips now found a place on my kitchen table.