Wednesday, December 28, 2011

What makes us a parent?

The other day I was watching Anand trying to wake up Megha because it was past her feed time. He was kissing her tiny little face and was saying, "how do you wake up a girl as beautiful as Megha?" and answers his question himself saying, "by lots of kisses and hugs". It moved me to tears, though I didnt show it outside. This is exactly how i have imagined they both would bond and I was delighted to find that I had not been mistaken.

He also took/takes care of both of us so well that my sister said she is almost jealous :) who wouldnt be proud to hear that compliment. He feeds her (formula supplement in nights) during the middle of night and gently coaxes me into getting some sleep myself even though he himself is tired. I guess this is what makes us a parent; being responsible for what you have created/accepted.

This reminds me of another wonderful incident which has happened a while ago when I was still working in UK. There was this wonderful couple who had been trying for kids for 15 years. When all else was tried, their last hope was adoption. They were matched with a teenage girl (through an agency) who was just 12 weeks pregnant when they had known her. Till the time she was close to her due date they were very involved in her progress, made a nursery and weaved all the dreams a parent would.
2 weeks before she was due to deliver, the couple received a notification from the girls lawyer saying that the girl changed her mind and that she was no longer willing to put the child for adoption and that they should terminate all the communication with her with immediate effect.
When the couple had known this, they were so broken heart that I didnt see the lady at work for 3 full weeks. We were all so sorry for her.

3 months later they received another call from the agency telling them that another match has been found. This time they were matched with a 2 week old baby!! They didnt have to wait months now! The lady received this call when she was at work and before rushing to take custody of their new daughter, she announced it at work, "I have just become a momma". Most of us cried with joy!! This  happiness was long due. 7 years later, the girl is a beautiful little English lady :)She couldnt have got better parents if she searched herself!

I thought I understood their happiness until I had Megha myself. Nothing can be as fulfilling as seeing your child content, sleeping in your arms and completely in love with you and you with her.

So, what I am trying to say is that, it doesnt matter how a child comes into your life. It could be biological/surrogate/adopted, what matters is that you are there for her when she needs you. You are there when she wakes up hungry in the middle of the night or needs a change or needs a comforting touch when she is having difficulty passing gas or even falling asleep. This is what makes us a parent. Agree?

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