Wednesday, January 13, 2016

When words won't work...

Megha feels everything so strongly and is not afraid to show the emotion see is experiencing. Often I have to make a conscious effort not to reprimand her for her seemingly unreasonable display of emotion. For example, she would start crying suddenly for a very small (?) thing (seldom though). What maybe an unreasonable thing for me maybe completely logical for her. I keep reminding myself that and be respectful of her tears but sometimes that drives me crazy.

This morning, we had a lot of snow and I had to clean the car and a bit of driveway before heading out to school to drop Megha off. I had bundled up the kids and left them on the porch while I started cleaning the car. I had specifically told Megha that it's not time to play and please can she not jump in the snow. After less than a minute when I turn around to check on kids and what is she doing? Rolling all over in the snow! I got mad because now her snow pants are all wet, the car will be in a mess, Tanush starts crying and the car still isn't clean,....oh ha, it's 9:10 (9:13 is the first bell). I yell, she gets upset/sad and has tears in her eyes....according to her, I asked her not to jump and she didn't. She just rolled. I compose myself, kiss her bye, remind her of lunch....she left still feeling sad. I feel horrible the whole day.

Of late I had noticed that yelling at her or even raising my voice at her is not having the desired effect. I usually don't yell but sometimes (like this morning), yell becomes inevitable. She is just. 4 year old. Asking her not to play in snow is like asking a pig not to jump in a muddy puddle.

I haven't come to the point yet! The 3 things that seem to work with Megha when she is being unreasonably moody/cross/weepy is to just ask her 1) if she wants a cuddle 2) is she would want me to just hold her hand until the moment passes 3) if she would like to talk about it 4) if she would like to hold a favourite toy and stay quite. Ok so that makes it 4. Asking her not to cry or be angry often ends up in the exact opposite of what is asked. As such, I realize it's better she experiences what ever she is feeling instead of asking her not to feel what she wants to.

Couple of things I plan on doing in future is to give her play dough and ask her to squeeze it so she can release whatever is bothering her. I also want to ask her if she would like to pick a special spot That will help her feel calm. Offer her a massage maybe.

This ended up being a long ramble triggered by this mornings episode on snow.

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