Saturday, October 17, 2015

Actions and Reactions

Continuing the post from yesterday. All I could do last night was think about Megha (while holding Tanush almost all night) and how she was in the car yesterday, returning from the swimming lessons. When she took her seat-belt off when I was still driving, I was really scared (unreasonably scared). When I started yelling, she stopped responding. She said, No, I wont put the seat-belt on. I yelled once more and she did put the belt back on. All the while Tanush screaming in the seat. I was torn between driving fast to get home fast and pick him up and driving slow as her seat-belt was off. Some say I just need to zone things out. I am trying. As a mom, it doesnt come naturally to me. It will need some work.

After coming home, she refused to get off from the car. I am not sure if she was scared I would continue to be upset or she was being difficult in general. But later at night while holding Tanush, I started replaying what all happened.

All Megha was doing was protecting herself. From me. From my anger in that moment.
When one encounters a threat (verbal in this case), the brain sends forth a defense mechanism. You do what you can to shield yourself from the impact. Thats all Megha was doing. I started yelling, she started her thing. Very rarely, I catch her lie. When you corner her and she feels threatened to say the truth, she lies.

I seriously need some parenting lessons!

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